I've started this blog to document my journey running while balancing motherhood, and eventually if I'm lucky enough, my next pregnancy.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Running and Peace

This has been a rough week. One of my former students was killed in a car accident this weekend. Many of my thoughts have centered around his family, what it must be like for his parents, the other students I taught who I know are in pain and suffering at the loss of their good friend. I can't stop thinking about my student's mother and what she must feel like. On top of that, I've been having a little anxiety lately about the half this weekend.

Basically, my hubby told me tonight that I've been in a horrible mood all week. He understood why, but he wanted me to be aware of it.

I didn't get to run earlier this week. I was just so exhausted. I don't know if it was work, or the emotional sadness about my student, or maybe a lack of sleep, but all I wanted to do all week was crawl under the covers and sleep forever.

So this evening, I went for a nice little run. Nothing crazy, just a 40 min run to set my mind right. Wouldn't you know that it turns out my legs do remember how to run. And it turns out that I can still run hills even though my last hill run was two weeks ago.

The weather was perfect; crisp and cool air, chilly enough that I needed to wear a long sleeve shirt. I chose my insanely orange reflective running shirt since it was dusk. I don't really remember what I was thinking about. I just might have been thinking about nothing, which was refreshing. I do remember what I saw though; a whole family of deer ran across the field next to where I run. It was a beautiful sight seeing them leap across the field-- so graceful and elegant. I just made me feel better. I have no idea why. Maybe it was seeing something so beautiful in nature instead of just cars zooming past me. Maybe it was just a connection to other good running days when deer decided to show themselves. Whatever the reason, it brought me a moment of happiness and peace, and for that I am thankful.

Tomorrow I will go to the Expo and pick up my runner's packet. And Friday I will go to my student's viewing. I'm sad to say that I've gone to others and I know how difficult it will be. And Saturday I'm going to run my race. My hope is to do the same thing I did tonight. Take in the sights and find my peace. And just be thankful- for my family, my friends, and my life.


  1. YAY for packet pick up.

    I got the "moody call out" yesterday too. :( whatever.

    So sorry to hear about your former student.

  2. We all get moody. I can only imagine what you are going through with your student. Good luck this weekend, and I hope you enjoy the journey!

  3. So sorry. Maybe the deer were there to remind you that life endures, in many forms, sometimes unexpected. Run with abandon. Feel. Be alive. Know that you are loved.


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